I’m going to show you the right way to accept a compliment. Because yes, there is a wrong way you want to avoid if you hope to be complimented ever again.
When someone gives you a compliment, that is such a kind and sincere gesture that you need to acknowledge and accept. It’s not easy for people to give out genuine compliments. It makes them feel good when you accept their compliment.
If you brush it off, undermine it, or deflect it then you’ll make them feel badly for complimenting you and they might not want to give you a compliment again!
Instead of doing the complimenter a disservice and confuse them by rejecting a kind remark,
I’m going to teach you how to accept the compliment with confidence authenticity and poise
Let’s look at an example:
When someone says to you: “Wow, you have great push up form.”
And you respond with: “Nah not really. I have no idea what I’m doing.”
That rude response doesn’t make anyone in this interaction feel good. You don’t feel good because you didn’t receive the compliment. And the other person doesn’t feel good because they’re confused by your reaction to something kind they said … which doesn’t make sense.
Now, in your defense, by responding that way you might think that you’re being humble and modest. But the complimenter does not know that. To them you’re just being ungrateful by not honoring their kindness.
And you’re not honoring your own dedication to improving your fitness level, working every day on mastering the perfect form of a push up … which got acknowledged.
This is how to respond instead so that you accept it fully:
- Meet their eyes and smile, [Put your hand on your heart]
- say thank you for noticing [/ caring]
- Accept it fully, add a line about why you’re grateful helps you drive it home. (im grateful be I worked so hard on it) give credit where it is due (I got it from or I worked so hard on this)
[smile + eye contact], thank you for noticing, Sam. I’ve been working on it every day for the past 3 months and I feel good about it.
Soo much better!
Sam’s happy for giving you the compliment. You’re happy because someone noticed something you’ve been putting a lot of effort and energy into.
Everyone’s happy here!
To recap: You don’t want to sound dismissive like you get compliments all the time.
You want to show you’re grateful and accept the compliment fully. Make eye contact, say thank you for noticing, add a line about why you’re grateful to drive it home (i.e. grateful because you worked so hard on it).
Try this out, make it part of your Explearning Communications toolkit and let me know how it goes in the comments below.
I’ll see you in the next lesson. 😊
Happy Explearning 🐝
About the Author and the Explearning Academy:
Mary Daphne is an expert in communication, executive interpersonal skills, and personal development. She is the founder of the Explearning Academy, a platform dedicated to helping individuals enhance their social fluency, boost their careers, and elevate their social game. Through immersive group coaching programs like the Executive Communication Lab and self-guided journeys, participants gain the social superpowers and career catapults they've been searching for. If you're ready to take your negotiation skills to the next level and connect with like-minded individuals, visit academy.explearning.co and explore the various plans available. Join the Explearning Academy community and unlock your full potential.
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