Relational Insurance and Why We Shouldn't Optimize Friendships
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Optimizing is excellent, but some things are just not meant to be optimized, and friendships are one of them. When creating relational insurance, it's better to consider the long-term cost-benefit analysis. Investing in people and in friendships require energy, patience, and above all, time.

There's health insurance and life insurance but what about relational insurance.

You know, when life throws you a curveball, who's going to be there for you? Who'll lend an ear for a heart to heart or a shoulder to cry on? Who's going to be there in not only the sunshine but in the storm?

That's why we need to consider relational insurance.

The only way to procure relational insurance is to make meaningful connections and build community.

And for anyone who's tried, you know that building a community takes time and patience.

And for the optimizers out there, I get it. You might be thinking, well I've streamlined important aspects of my life so that I can crush it professionally and still have time to get after my health goals.

I hear you, from one optimizer to another, that is absolutely fantastic.

But let me ask you this, how strong is the social fabric in your life? In your journey to optimization has your quest to build and maintain friendships falled by the wayside? Have your social circles shrunk?

If so, you may want to consider that not all aspects of life need to be optimized. Since friendships take time they're not designed for optimization.

All of these things take time:
*Driving or commuting to a cafe to meet a friend.
*preparing a meal for a potluck or dinner party
*investing time calling and zooming with someone
*going on social outings
*Driving to a gym to workout with friends rather than working out in your home gym

All of these types of social activities take up time and energy and the ROI is not always positive. But when you invest in someone and have a positive return on investment, that person might turn into a lifelong friend that you couldn't imagine not being in your life.

So I encourage you to consider doing a long term cost benefit analysis. While taking time to make and maintain friends might take away from some short term optimization, some of the investments you make will pay off in the long run.

When we look back on life, does happiness stem from the things we've bought and accumulated or from the experiences we've created with people we care about?

While optimizing enriches our lives in so many ways, maybe the social aspect can't be optimized and that is just the point.

When running a long term cost benefit analysis we'll recognize the importance of having a crew we can count on. We have that relational insurance for those stormy days, and that my friends come from not optimizing.


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About the Author and the Explearning Academy:

Mary Daphne is an expert in communication, executive interpersonal skills, and personal development. She is the founder of the Explearning Academy, a platform dedicated to helping individuals enhance their social fluency, boost their careers, and elevate their social game. Through immersive group coaching programs like the Executive Communication Lab and self-guided journeys, participants gain the social superpowers and career catapults they've been searching for. If you're ready to take your negotiation skills to the next level and connect with like-minded individuals, visit and explore the various plans available. Join the Explearning Academy community and unlock your full potential.

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