What is a harmful, dangerous, and venomous speech act that is quite common in our society? Gossip.
And let me tell you Explearners, we don’t want any part it in.
Today I’m going to teach you communication strategies to help you prevent gossip. 60% of adult conversations revolve around gossiping.
What constitutes as gossip? Hurtful words and speaking negatively about a person who is not in the conversation.
The best thing to do if you have an issue with someone, you take it up with that person. You don’t complain about someone behind their back and gossip about them. If you do, then you’ll risk:
- Alienating people, because no one likes to be friends with gossipers – how can you trust a person who gossips?
- And you’ll make the person you’re trying to gossip to feel very, very uncomfortable (they don’t want to participate in your idle chatter)
Our focus is on #2: today we’re talking about how to prevent gossip (so that you don’t have to participate in hurtful talk and idle chatter. So when someone tries to drag you into gossip, you’ll know how to shut it down.
In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt: “Great mind discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
With that, let’s jump right into my tips.
In order to prevent gossip, you need to address it right away (nip it in the bud):
give one statement of acknowledgement
You are acknowledging without giving your opinion or taking sides. Please be aware: you’re not agreeing or disagreeing. You’re not defending the person they’re gossiping about. You’re not condoning their indiscreet talk. In some scenarios, this will also be showing you understand their feelings regardless of the veracity of their comment.
change the topic smoothly
By discreetly doing a topic shift you’re signaling to the speaker that gossip is not your jam. This is not how you engage in conversation. If they want to discuss ideas, then you are game. But gossiping doesn’t fly with you.
You don’t have to call them out on it in a direct way, because you’re smooth, Explearners
Let’s see this in action. How to prevent 2 types of gossip:
Example 1 – complaining
Jimmy is so rude. Who does he think he is to speak to me like that? In front of my boss and colleagues? Couldn’t he find a better place to pick a fight than at a work event?
- Statement of acknowledgement: Ugh, you must be frustrated.
- Change topics: I have just the thing to cheer you up. I found this new hiking trail it’s only 30 minutes from here. And we can stop for a picnic for lunch. Why don’t we do that this weekend with the girls?
Example 2 – just saying mean things
Yeah, I really like time-restricted eating. You know who should start it? Liza. She’s really packed it on since College. That girl just eats her emotions…and snacks all day.
- Statement of acknowledgement: How and when to eat is definitely a tricky topic.
- Change topics: I’m so glad time-restricted eating is working for you! Have you read Dr. Longo’s most recent research it’s fascinating…? à and you steer your friend in that direction to discuss nutritional science instead of saying mean things about Liza
The next time someone tries to gossip with you, you know what to do.
Add these strategies to your communication toolbox and watch your personal and social circles expand before your very eyes!
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I’ll see you in the next lesson 😊
Happy Explearning 🐝
About the Author and the Explearning Academy:
Mary Daphne is an expert in communication, executive interpersonal skills, and personal development. She is the founder of the Explearning Academy, a platform dedicated to helping individuals enhance their social fluency, boost their careers, and elevate their social game. Through immersive group coaching programs like the Executive Communication Lab and self-guided journeys, participants gain the social superpowers and career catapults they've been searching for. If you're ready to take your negotiation skills to the next level and connect with like-minded individuals, visit academy.explearning.co and explore the various plans available. Join the Explearning Academy community and unlock your full potential.
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