Hello Explearners! Welcome back. In our community recently we talked about the importance of learning the language of a country that you plan to live in or visit for a while to better soak up the culture and history and to unlock a dormant part of your identity that you never even knew was there. It was a riveting discussion, and if you would also like to take part in those, I'd encourage you to join our Community Explearning Academy.

You can sign up at academy.explearning.co. We would absolutely love to have you. Today we're going to discuss responding to backhanded compliments. When someone gives you a backhanded compliment, it can be difficult to know how to respond. You want to be assertive and stand up for yourself, but you also don't want to be rude or confrontational.

The key is to acknowledge the compliment and address the insincerity in a calm and respectful way. By doing this, you can respond to backhanded compliments in a way that is assertive, but also polite. Let's get into it. 

Backhanded compliments, also known as insincere compliments or left-handed compliments, can be difficult to respond to because they often come across as insincere or even sarcastic, and oftentimes they just come outta a left field, so you're not expecting them. 

One way to respond to a backhanded compliment is to acknowledge the compliment because there is a small compliment in there, but also to address the insincerity or lack of sincerity in the comment. For example, if someone says to you, "you look great for your age," you might respond by seeing something like: "thank you, but I don't actually think my age is anything to do with how I look." This response acknowledges the compliment because there was one there, but it also makes it clear that you don't appreciate the dig at your age and the ageism that this person is reflecting. 

So another way to respond to a backhanded compliment is to simply ignore the insincere part of the comment, and then just focus on the positive.

For example, if someone says to you, "you did a great job considering how little time you had to prepare," you could respond by saying, "thank you. I'm glad you liked it." This response doesn't engage at all with the insincerity of the comment, but instead it focuses on the positive feedback. 

In general, the best way to respond to a backhanded compliment is to do so in a way that's assertive, authentic, but also polite.

You want to make it clear that you don't appreciate the insincerity of the comment, but you also don't want to be rude or confrontational. By acknowledging the compliment and addressing the insincerity in a calm and polite way, you can respond to a backhanded compliment in a way that's assertive, but also very respectful. 

Here are a few strategies for responding to backhanded compliments in a way that's assertive and polite.

So acknowledge the compliment, but address the insincerity. 

For example, if someone says to you, "you did a pretty good job for someone who's super new to this," you could respond by saying "Thank you. I really appreciate the compliment. However, I don't think my experience has anything to do with the quality of my work." This response acknowledges the compliment while also making it very clear that you don't appreciate the insinuation that you're inexperienced. 

Ignore the insincerity and focus on the positive. For example, if someone says to you, "you look nice for a change," you could simply respond by saying, "Thank you. I'm glad you like it. I have a new blazer." This response doesn't engage with the insincerity of the comment, but instead it focuses on the positive feedback that they shared. 

You can also use humor to diffuse the situation if humor is your thing. For example, if someone says to you, "you're so smart for a girl," you could respond by saying something like, "Thank you. I didn't realize my intelligence was dependent on my gender." This response uses humor to diffuse the situation and make it clear that you don't appreciate the sexist comment. 

Ask for clarification. For example, if someone says to you, "you're a great singer, unlike some people I know," you could respond by saying "Thank you. Can you be more specific? Who are the other people you're referring to?" This response asks for clarification in a polite way, which can help you to diffuse the situation and also make it clear that you don't appreciate the backhanded compli ment. 

Overall with these, the keys to respond to backhanded compliments in a way that you're asserting yourself, but you're also staying true to being respectful and polite.

By acknowledging the compliment and addressing the insincerity in the most calm way possible, you can respond to these kinds of half compliments in a way that's assertive and also respectful. 

Are you ready to put this into practice? I have a quest for you as well as some challenges that you can complete when practicing these concepts. You'll be able to access those resources when you join our private community Explearning Academy. So if you like the quests, the challenges, the discussion that goes along with it, and an opportunity to ask your questions, live in a live discussion with me and the other members, you can sign up by going to academy.explearning.co or just sign up using the link down below.

To sum up, responding to backhanded compliments can be challenging, but by acknowledging the compliment and addressing the insincerity in a calm and respectful way, you can respond to backhanded compliments in a way that's genuine, assertive, but also, polite. By doing this, you can stand up for yourself, be confident and stand up for your self-worth without being confrontational or rude. 

Alright Explearners. Thank you so much for joining me for this lesson. If you like the content, then be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel. Give this video, big thumbs up, share it with friends.

And also if you like to listen to podcasts, you can check out our podcast and listen on the go. Just download it and listen as you please, and also feel free to share the podcast and also follow it and make sure that friends know about it as well. If you want to help your friends improve their communication and their social skills and help them reach social fluency as well, then share our podcast and YouTube channel.

And also if you want more practice and you want to meet with me live, and also the members of our community, then we'd love to have you in our private community Explearning Academy. So that's academy.explearning.co. Hope to see you there. Bye for now and Happy Explearning everyone.

About the Author and the Explearning Academy:

Mary Daphne is an expert in communication, executive interpersonal skills, and personal development. She is the founder of the Explearning Academy, a platform dedicated to helping individuals enhance their social fluency, boost their careers, and elevate their social game. Through immersive group coaching programs like the Executive Communication Lab and self-guided journeys, participants gain the social superpowers and career catapults they've been searching for. If you're ready to take your negotiation skills to the next level and connect with like-minded individuals, visit academy.explearning.co and explore the various plans available. Join the Explearning Academy community and unlock your full potential.

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