In our Livestream conversation Greg and I discuss how to deal with rude people both online and IRL. We had a lively discussion, as it always is, and I encourage you to watch it here. Comment on the video with some of your own strategies to share with the Explearning community!
“The final proof of greatness lies in being about to endure criticism without resentment.” ~Elbert Hubbard
Here are some ways we can overcome the negativity that haters work so hard to exude both online and off:
Don’t swerve, keep at it:
A piece of advice from Shola Richard, founder and blogger of The Positivity Solution in silencing the haters is this:
“The best way to silence the haters is to do more of what they hate.”
Let that sink in for a minute.
After I pondered over that sentence, it called to mind one of my favorite Jane Austen quotes.
“Run mad as often as you chuse, but do not faint.” (Jane Austen)
I simply adore this quote from Austen’s epistolary novel, Lady Susan. It encapsulates the notion of following your wildest dreams and cultivating your fierce passions but to never ever give up.
A negative person would love to see you quit. Think of how much pride and joy they’d have seeing their comment have such an effect on you. It gives them so much power. Don’t give them that credit or allow them to luxuriate in squashing your dreams. Keep on keeping on, instead.
Be unapologetically you.
It’s a choice. You can be like everyone else, which would actually be a sorry attempt at it, or you can be you.
There’s a great Oscar Wilde quote that alludes to that: “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” So you’re better off being yourself and through personal growth, to become a better and better version of yourself.
Embrace your authenticity and don’t have anyone tell you otherwise.
Choose to be unapologetically, 100% you! You’ll have so much fun, feel liberated, and learn so much about yourself in the process. Choose to love yourself.
You are following your path, you’re creating something, you’ve being bold and brave. Don’t let anyone try to prevent you from pursuing your joy. Never apologize for who you are. You’re deserving of living life how you choose and you’re truly one of a kind. And only you can be you!
Not my circus, not my monkeys. -Polish Proverb
There's a wonderful polish proverb that illustrates this: "Not my circus. Not my monkeys."
Not every comment warrants a response. In online hate comments and cyber bullying you can block the person. Internet trolls are hateful people and their lives must be so empty that they feel better about themselves criticizing others. You’re not in the spot, so don’t let them drag you into the abyss.
If you choose to understand that their problem is not your problem, then you can let it go with more ease. If the comment is so virulent that it nauseates you, delete it! Block the person! The point is, don't engage. Because at the end of the day, the fact that they wrote such a deleterious comment has nothing to do with you. So, remember the Polish proverb and get on with your day.
Make light of it.
This is not for the faint of heart and certainly not for everyone. But, if humor comes naturally to you – you always have a good comeback – or you’re just the right kind of self-deprecating then… poke fun at it! Make fun or make light of that thing on which they remarked and that will get other people in the conversation – suddenly you’ve created buzz and engagement around the post. Talk about a marketing strategy. But again, proceed with caution.
Personally, I wouldn’t engage but I know plenty of people that could make light of the situation. If you’re one of those people, power to you!
Find a teachable moment.
Carve out a lesson from the comment. See whether you can morph it into any type of constructive criticism. It’s tough, but if we can have a disembodied experience with the comment, meaning we don’t take it personally this is a great way to make lemonade out of lemons. I for one actually love lemons, so this analogy never really resonated with me but I know it does for a lot of people or it wouldn’t be a metaphor. Anyway, you get my point. Seek out the life lesson in the comment. You might have to do a lot of digging, but there might just be a diamond in the rough. It’s also a good exercise to not let things get to you and to keep your calm.
That you’re doing something you love to do. That you’re brave to do what you love to do. And that you’re on the path to greatness – only the greats get criticized, not the zeros. And also be grateful that they took time out of their life to engage with your post (albeit negatively) but they still spent time on you and your work.
These are just a few ways of dealing with rude people, negative comments on the internet, or the “haters” as modern society like to label it.
Try out some of these and come up with a few tactics of your own. If you have any suggestions for other Explearners, share it with us in the comments for the Explearning Community to benefit from your nuggets of wisdom!
And be sure to catch the replay of the Livestream if you haven’t done so already 😊
Happy Explearning ⚡