The Number One Quality People Seek in a Friend: Ego Support

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Want to be a better friend? Research shows that the number one quality people seek in a friend is ego support: showing care and support. In this video, learn more about what ego support is and how you can show it to your friends. Find out how it can strengthen your friendships and lead to more fulfilling relationships.

If you had to guess what the number one most desirable characteristic in a friend would be, what would you guess? What comes to mind? Do you think it's loyalty, trustworthiness, kindness, likeability? What is it? What do you think? Was it any of the ones I listed or was it something else? Popped into your mind as being the most important thing for someone to really be your friend or for you to consider them a good friend.

So I would love for you to just take a moment to think about that, and I'm gonna share with you what that number one quality is.

Okay? So it's what psychologists call ego support. This means it's the ability for you to essentially support them and show them you care. That seems to be the number one quality people seek out in a friend, and they might not even do this consciously, but rather subconsciously. For example, the people who you have a stronger, closer bond to are probably in some way, shape or form, giving you ego support. They're showing you that they care about you, they're checking in on you. They're showing you empathy. They're treating you with kindness and respect. They're showing feelings of caring and love and support, right? So imagine your five closest friends, and that could also include family members, cuz family members can be friends yes.

So think about those people. In that specific group of people that you've now numbered and thought about. Do they show you this kind of ego support? My guess is that yes, they do. So now what does that mean for you as someone's friend? Think about how you can show your friends ego support. How can you support them in some way, shape or form, whether that be calling them up, checking in on them, texting them, reaching out, even if it's been a while, reaching out to them in not only times of need, but also in times where they're loving life and living it up.

So really just being as supportive as you possibly can. And in return, you'll also notice that their ego support for you might also change in a positive way. They might be more inclined to send you a birthday card or send you a check-in email, or give you a phone call, or invite you somewhere or just be a better friend to you, however they can, right?

Whatever that means for you and them. So this is something that definitely came to me as a little bit of a surprise, but then when I thought about it, it made complete sense that the number one characteristic that we appreciate in our friends is that ego support that they care for us and that they show it.

So we should also, as friends of people, be really aware of this as well, and do our very best to show them support, show them ego support, be as caring and loving and nurturing as we can of their goals and dreams, and encourage them and lift them up when they need it, and be there to listen to them, not judge, and be receptive to those kinds of goodwill and good wishes as well.

All right, so I hope that. Share this with somebody who needs to hear this today. Share this with a friend and go out and show your friends that ego support, and maybe in the people that you weren't as close friends with, maybe by increasing that ego support there in those friendships, you end up becoming even better and closer friends with them.

So just some food for thought. I do hope you try it out and let me know how it goes. All right. I will see you in the next Explearning lesson. Bye for now and Happy Explearning