Before we jump into these strategies, I just want to make clear that the tyrant’s issue is rarely about you. It is often to do with them feeling insecure for one reason or another.
But that doesn’t change the fact that the tyrant is behaving badly toward you. And that makes it personal.
Don’t let their problem become your problem.
Let’s jump right into my 3 ways of handling a tyrant
Adopt a warrior gaze:
You can also think of this as the amazon gaze. Look them in the eye with an icy gaze, no smile on your face.
If you can channel your warrior, amazon, superhero now’s the time to do it!
This shows that you are not intimidated and that the tyrant won’t get a rise out of you (which is often what they are looking for).
Don’t stoop to their level:
Don’t reply with a comeback or an insult (that would be stooping to their level), and don’t attempt to explain yourself.
If they are yelling, ask them to speak more slowly, because it’s hard to yell and speak slowly at the same time!
Instead, respond with a simple question: What would you like me to do? This forces them to think and reverses the flow of energy.
If what they are asking is unreasonable, say, “I need some time to think about it, I will get back to you.” This gives you space and time to prepare a well-thought-out strategy.
Recite Your Mantra:
During and after the encounter, it can also be helpful to equip yourself with an empowering mantra.
Try to come up with your own phrase, something to lift you up. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- I will not over-analyze the situation.
- I love who I am, I love who I have become.
- I am my own unique self, and I have no need to compare myself to others.
- As I inhale, I’m sending positive energy to myself, and as I exhale, I’m sending positive energy to someone who needs it.
- I am in charge of how I feel, and, in this moment, I choose serenity and happiness.
Feel free to share some of your own in the comments below with the Explearning Community!
Let’s do a quick recap:
- Keep a steady gaze
- Don’t justify them with an explanation, instead, give them a question to answer and give yourself space to address the situation on your own timeline
- Recite your mantra
Tyrants come in all shapes and sizes be it a boss, a colleague, or someone closer to you. But they share the same common denominator: they make you feel inadequate and downright awful.
While every tyrant and situation may be unique, running through these 3 strategies will help you collect your thoughts, calm down, and think about how to minimize or altogether avoid future interactions with this tyrant.
Add these strategies to your communications toolkit, try them out and deploy them when a bully is standing between you and your mental well being.
Zen vibes to all of you Explearners.
I’ll see you in the next lesson😊
Happy Explearning 🐝
About the Author and the Explearning Academy:
Mary Daphne is an expert in communication, executive interpersonal skills, and personal development. She is the founder of the Explearning Academy, a platform dedicated to helping individuals enhance their social fluency, boost their careers, and elevate their social game. Through immersive group coaching programs like the Executive Communication Lab and self-guided journeys, participants gain the social superpowers and career catapults they've been searching for. If you're ready to take your negotiation skills to the next level and connect with like-minded individuals, visit academy.explearning.co and explore the various plans available. Join the Explearning Academy community and unlock your full potential.
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