Well the day has come: we are thrilled to present a fantastic collaboration with communications luminary Dr. Alex Lyon!
Alex's channel teaches communication skills for emerging leaders. He posts weekly videos on topics like public speaking, conversation skills, and leadership development concepts and theories.
Check out his channel for more awesome lessons! đ˝
Read on for Explearningâs answers to the questions we answered in his video:
--
Do nonverbal gestures have specific meanings associated with them?
One way we can think about nonverbal gestures is through emblems and illustrators.
Emblems.
Emblems are the nonverbal cues that have a universal meaning within a specific culture. For example, if weâre talking about American culture, when we give a thumbâs up, we know that means âgood jobâ or circling our index finger next to our ear means âthat person is totally crazy!â A really cool thing to note, however, is that emblems are decided by a particular society. This means that in one culture, a gesture could be very different from what it denotes in another culture. I remember when I was teaching a communication class in Istanbul, Turkey and there were some Middle Eastern exchange students who were offended by the thumbâs up gesture because it means something derogatory in their cultural context. So we have to be mindful that while emblems can have agreed-upon meanings, theyâre inextricably linked to their cultural context, and so the meaning can vary significantly from culture to culture.
Illustrators.
Illustrators are interesting because unlike emblems, we use these automatically and subconsciously to illuminate the words we are speaking. It helps us paint the picture our words are expressing. Theyâre not explicitly taught to us or tied to a culture. Theyâre often unique to the person, timing and situation. Letâs say someoneâs excited to see their friend. In addition to saying âItâs so great to see you,â they use big sweeping gestures with their arms. These gestures signal joy and excitement. On the flip side, if youâre in a high-stakes meeting and are super nervous, youâre probably going to be more reserved with your illustrators, possibly using stiff or jerky movements. And if you think about it, we still use these nonverbals even if no one is there to see them, such as if weâre on the phone. They are deeply rooted in our communicative behavior.
You know whatâs funny? When Iâm editing my YouTube lessons, I donât even realize that I'm using illustrators because they just flow naturally.
How does verbal and nonverbal communication interact in real life?
There are 6 different ways that nonverbal and verbal communication interact in real life:
1. Repeating
You can think of this one as the nonverbal behavior reinforcing the verbal message. In other words, you are repeating your message because youâre essentially saying the same thing. For example: Saying ânice jobâ while giving a thumbâs up achieves this. Or you might say âDonât interrupt meâ while putting your hand out as repetition.
2. Substituting
With substituting you are using a gesture (or some other form of nonverbal communication) in place of a word. For instance, you might give a high five instead of saying âWow, thatâs awesome congratulations.â
3. Turn-taking
This one is about relying on nonverbal communication to signal turn taking. Imagine youâre in a group conversation and you notice that Jimmy hasnât gotten a chance to say anything yet. Noticing that, you might lean-in, do an outwardly gesture facing Jimmy to signal that he might want to say something.
4. Complementing *the verbal message*
With complementing, you can think of enhancing your verbal message with nonverbal communication. You can use complementing to drive home a point or to clarify a message. For example, if youâre giving your manager a run-down of your teamâs epic progress this quarter, you might gesture an upward chart signaling growth.
5. Emphasizing
If Iâm looking to really emphasize my point, I might use a strong gesture. But I could also leverage paralinguistics, which includestone of voice, volume, inflection patterns, and pitch. Or I might change my word pacing or add some dramatic pause for that extra oomph. These are a few ways to truly accentuate your verbal message especially in the context of a speech, presentation, meeting or pitch.
6. Contradicting (Maybe showing sarcasm or lying)
This oneâs pretty interesting. This occurs when your nonverbals contradict your spoken words. So for instance, imagine a friend telling you they are in so much pain but theyâre smiling. These are contradictory, right? Or imagine that a friend tells you that they had so much fun hanging out but they have a deadpan look on their face. It almost seems sarcastic right? Even if theyâre not being sarcastic, it sticks out like a sore thumb because what they are saying does not match how they are saying it.
What is nonverbal leakage? What happens when there is in-congruence between words and gestures?
I love the terminology for this concept of nonverbal leakage because itâs such a visceral image. We can think of nonverbal leakage as our gestures blowing our cover, so to speak, when weâre attempting to conceal something. For example, if we verbally express one thing but our body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice are screaming something else entirely, our nonverbals are leaking into our words and altering our message. In other words, there is a disconnect between what we are saying and how we are saying it.
Research shows that in studies on deception, 98% of people expressed nonverbal leakage when they were trying to hide a charged emotion like anger, jealously, depression or dishonesty. So viewers may be wondering,well, what does nonverbal leakage look like? Tone of voice is a huge giveaway and so are body gestures that misalign with the verbal message. But thereâs also something called micro expressions where an emotion will flash across the personâs face. But youâll have to pay close attention, or youâll miss it. These happen as fast as 1/15 to 1/25 of a second! The seven micro expressions -- happiness, surprise, fear, anger, sadness, disgust and contempt -- are universal and exist across most cultures.
Funny story, on a recent skiing adventure, my husband decided it would be fun for us to go bootpacking, meaning climbing up the mountain out of the ski resort bounds. I was mortified because not only had I not been skiing in over 10 years, I had never been backcountry where Iâd have to carry my skis up an icy mountain with all my heavy gear on. But, I could see that he was really excited about this. So I said âSure, that sounds awesome!â But as I said that, my hands were trembling, I was sweating profusely, and my eyebrows were deeply furrowed⌠major nonverbal leakage, right? Fortunately, I had my face mask and goggles on, so he couldnât see any of it! It wasnât until after we made it down the mountain that I fessed up about how nervous I actually was. Much funnier in retrospect...
--
We hope to do more collaborations in the future. If you have specific channels or YouTubers you think we should collab with, let us know in the comments below!
Happy Explearning âĄ
About the Author and the Explearning Academy:
Mary Daphne is an expert in communication, executive interpersonal skills, and personal development. She is the founder of the Explearning Academy, a platform dedicated to helping individuals enhance their social fluency, boost their careers, and elevate their social game. Through immersive group coaching programs like the Executive Communication Lab and self-guided journeys, participants gain the social superpowers and career catapults they've been searching for. If you're ready to take your negotiation skills to the next level and connect with like-minded individuals, visit academy.explearning.co and explore the various plans available. Join the Explearning Academy community and unlock your full potential.
Thank you for reading! If you found this blog post valuable, don't forget subscribe to our YouTube channel and follow our podcast!
â¨
đ5-DAY FREE CHALLENGE đ
đ¤ Sign up for my group coaching programđ¤
𤊠Join our community 𤊠for a self-guided fully-supported journey
⨠Learn more about Explearning Academy â¨
đ Sign up for our 33-Day Executive Excellence Challenge đ
