We make decisions every day.

Should I eat chia seed pudding or pancakes for breakfast?

Should I do a HIIT workout or a strength workout?

Should I go out to dinner with friends or lay low this evening? 

And we spend way too much time deliberating over these small inconsequential decisions.

Sound familiar?

And in social interaction, we make decisions too.

Many a time these decisions need to be made on the fly.

• Where should we eat dinner?
• Who should I hang out with this weekend?
• Am I going to that party?
• Should I accept this job offer?
• Should I be business partners with my good friend?
• Am I going on the camping trip or the ski trip with this group or that group?

And what happens when there are too many choices that we find ourselves inundated with options and can’t seem to make a decision? Think of when you are looking at a comprehensive menu and there are at least 5 dishes that look appetizing to you that you don’t know what to order! That is choice paralysis in a nutshell. 

If you have trouble being decisive and you want to get better at making decisions on the spot, stick around we’re going over some helpful strategies. 

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Go with Your Gut Feeling

This is your intuition. Some people have a stronger intuition than others. Like anything it’s a muscle that can be strengthened. So the more scenarios in which you tap into that gut feeling, the more you’re strengthening that muscle.

For more important decisions (i.e., should I take the job, should we go on that overseas trip, what internship should I go with, etc) what you want to look for is the sensation of fullness versus emptiness. This is especially for opportunities as opposed to where you should go for dinner. When the opportunity is being presented to you, do you feel a sense of fullness or emptiness. If the feeling is fullness, take the opportunity, go on that long trip, do the internship. If it’s a empty feeling, say no..politely of course. 

Don’t View being Indecisive as Being Polite

Not Making a decision is actually a decision. You’ve decided to be indecisive. So if you truly feel strongly about something say so. If you prefer ordering pizza to BBQ say so. Don’t be indecisive, it does not come across as polite. In fact in social settings, indecisiveness can be super annoying. Imagine you’re at a coffee shop and your friend places their order but you take awhile to place yours. Your friend has nearly finished their coffee and you still don’t know whether you’re getting the cappuccino or the matcha latte. And now time’s up and you and your friend have to head back to work. So much for a fun conversation over coffee.

So quickly weigh your options and pick one. Just go with the decision and think about the bigger picture. In this case, it’s not about what warm beverage you’re imbibing, it’s about doing a nice catch up with your friend. Coffee is but an excuse!

Think Fast vs. Think Slow

Not every decision you make needs to be weighed and investigated so thoroughly. There are decisions that we can make on the spot and others that we need more time to think through.

Fast thinking decisions are things like which workout should I do, what should I order from the menu, who should I hang out with this weekend?

Slow thinking decisions are things like which university should I choose, who should my core friend group be, which job do I take, should I be business partners with this person?

So reserve the slow thinking and deliberating for the bigger decisions in life. 

For the fast thinking decisions just pick an option and move on with you life. If you choose pizza over BBQ it’s not the end of the world. If you do the hit workout over the strength training workout, cool, you got your workout in for the day!

Don’t deliberate over fast thinking decisions and more importantly, once the decision has been made don’t ruminate. Meaning, there’s no need to regret it. Just make a mental note of it and next time order the BBQ if you didn’t like the pizza.

For slow thinking decisions, you want to be more thoughtful, but also avoid regretting the decision once it’s been made.

How Small a Decision can you Make?

If you look beneath the surface, in every big decision there are several smaller decisions that you can make. These are the points of action or the steps that you could take. For example, when you are faced with the big decision of moving to another city, before your decide yes or no break it into smaller decisions. First you could decide to read up on the city, watch YouTube videos about the city, read blog posts, call friends who’ve visited/lived there etc. If you are wondering whether to take the job. Make a smaller decision to talk to someone who works at the company. Then make another decision to look at their professional growth opportunities. When you make these smaller decisions, you are being guided to ultimately make your final decision. But breaking it down into actionable steps and bite sized chunks make the big decision you need to make much less daunting. 

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So let’s do a quick recap.

Follow your intuition. You can train that mind-gut connection so that you can be better about tapping into what your gut feeling is. Remember that feeling of fullness versus emptiness. Fullness is usually a good indicator to go with the decision.

Indecisiveness is not polite, it’s very annoying. Indecisiveness usually happens with the fast thinking decisions (like placing a food or beverage order). So just go with either the cappuccino or matcha latter. And remember, a lot of times you need to think of the bigger picture. What’s the point of this coffee date? Or, yes that’s right, to catch up with this friend I haven’t seen in months. 

Try to be as quick as you can with the fast thinking decision and with the slow thinking decisions do your research, weigh your options, but just make a decision. And once you do, don’t regret it don’t ruminate over it and don’t look back.

Break down big decisions into smaller decisions and suddenly they become less daunting. Behind every big decision there are much smaller decisions you can make. Find those, and then rise to action. Do your homework, talk to key players, get moving. These are the actionable steps that will help you decide yes or no.

So implement these strategies the next time you’re faced with a decision – big or small. And this will be something relatively easy to practice as we make decisions every single day. Experiment with different approaches and continue to rely on the one that works best for you.

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Alright, that’s all from me today. Hope you enjoyed this lesson. Go out there and make those decisions!

See you in the next one.

Happy Explearning ⚡

About the Author and the Explearning Academy:

Mary Daphne is an expert in communication, executive interpersonal skills, and personal development. She is the founder of the Explearning Academy, a platform dedicated to helping individuals enhance their social fluency, boost their careers, and elevate their social game. Through immersive group coaching programs like the Executive Communication Lab and self-guided journeys, participants gain the social superpowers and career catapults they've been searching for. If you're ready to take your negotiation skills to the next level and connect with like-minded individuals, visit academy.explearning.co and explore the various plans available. Join the Explearning Academy community and unlock your full potential.

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