How to Argue Emotionally Intelligently: 5 Tips for Defusing Tension and Finding Solutions
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Arguments are a part of life, but they don't have to be destructive. Here are five tips for arguing emotionally intelligently: Stay calm and composed, listen to the other person's perspective, avoid personal attacks, be willing to compromise, end the argument on a positive note.

Hello Explearners, welcome back. Recently in our community, we discussed how having purpose and drive can give us that extra motivation to pursue our objectives. Members shared so many wonderful insights and it was incredibly inspiring. If you yourself would like to participate in those, I'd encourage you to join our community Explearning Academy. You can sign up at academy.explearning.co. We would love to have you. 

Being emotionally intelligent during an argument is an important skill to have in many different situations, both personal and professional. It can help to diffuse tension, facilitate more productive and respectful conversations, and maintain and strengthen relationships.

In this lesson, we will discuss some tips and strategies for being emotionally intelligent during arguments. This can include staying calm and composed, listening to the other person's perspective, avoiding personal attacks, or ad hominems, and focusing on finding a solution to the problem at hand. By following these tips, you can improve your emotional intelligence and handle conflicts more confidently and effectively.

To be emotionally intelligent during a heated argument, it is important to stay as calm and composed as possible. This can be extremely challenging, especially when somebody might be going out of their way to push your buttons, but here are a few tips that may help.

Take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts before responding. This can help you to avoid reacting in a negative way or saying something you might later regret. 

Listen to the other person's perspective and try to understand where they're coming from. This can help you see the situation from their point of view and respond in a more empathetic way. 

Avoid personal attacks or name calling. These types of comments only escalate the situation and make it much harder to resolve the conflict. 

Instead of getting defensive, try to focus on finding a solution to the problem. This can help you move the conversation into a more productive direction. 

If the argument becomes too heated, it may be helpful to take a timeout, take a break, and come back to the conversation when you are both calmer. This can give you both time to cool down, give you some perspective, and allow you to approach the situation with a fresh mind and point of view.

Overall, being emotionally intelligent during a heated argument means staying calm, listening to the other person's perspectives, and focusing on finding a solution instead of getting caught up in the emotions of the moment. 

Some phrases emotionally intelligent people might say during an argument include:

  1. I understand why you feel that way.
  2. Can you help me understand your perspective? 
  3. I apologize if I came across as defensive. I actually want to hear what you have to say. 
  4. I'm very sorry I hurt your feelings. That was not my intention. 
  5. Let's just take a moment to calm down and then continue this conversation. 
  6. I'm willing to compromise in order to find a solution to this problem.
  7. I value your input and I want to work together to find a solution. 
  8. Can we agree to disagree on this point and move on? 
  9. Let's try to focus on finding a solution instead of just getting caught up in the emotions of the moment. 

These phrases can help to deescalate and diffuse the situation to foster a more productive and respectful environment to have the conversation take place.

There are many situations where being emotionally intelligent during an argument can be very helpful. Some examples include in a romantic relationship when you and your partner are disagreeing about something that's important to both of you. In a professional setting, when you and a colleague are having a disagreement about a project or strategy. In a friendship where you and a friend are having a disagreement about something personal. In a family setting, where you and a family member are having a disagreement about a decision or a plan.

In all of these situations, being emotionally intelligent can help to diffuse the tension and facilitate a more productive and respectful conversation. It can also help to maintain and strengthen relationships, whether they are personal or professional.

Are you ready to put this into practice? I have a set of quests for you to complete if you are a member of our private community, Explearning Academy. So if you would like the quest, the weekly plan of exercises that go along with this, and an opportunity to join us for a live conversation in our community, then sign up by going to academy.explearning.co. Or just use the link down below. Hope to see you there.

So to sum up, being emotionally intelligent during arguments is very difficult, but it is possible and it's an important skill to have in so many situations. It can help to diffuse tension, facilitate productive and respectful conversations, and maintain and build rapport to strengthen relationships.

Some key strategies for being emotionally intelligent during arguments include staying calm and composed as best you can, listening to the other person's perspective, avoiding personal attacks and name calling, and focusing on finding a solution to the problem. By following these tips, you can improve your emotional intelligence and handle conflicts more confidently and effectively.

Thank you for joining me for this lesson. I hope to see you in my community. In the meantime, give the podcast and the YouTube channel some love by subscribing, by following, by sharing and engaging with it in some way. Alright, I will see you in the next one. Bye for now.

About the Author and the Explearning Academy:


Mary Daphne is an expert in communication, executive interpersonal skills, and personal development. She is the founder of the Explearning Academy, a platform dedicated to helping individuals enhance their social fluency, boost their careers, and elevate their social game. Through immersive group coaching programs like the Executive Communication Lab and self-guided journeys, participants gain the social superpowers and career catapults they've been searching for. If you're ready to take your negotiation skills to the next level and connect with like-minded individuals, visit academy.explearning.co and explore the various plans available. Join the Explearning Academy community and unlock your full potential.

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