If the first opinion you have of someone is rife with judgement or if judgy feelings flood to the surface anytime you’re presented with something IRL or on social media then it might be time to consider taming that judge inside of you.
In this lesson I’m going to teach you four strategies to help you keep your judgments of others at bay.
If you’re ready, we’re starting now.
No one likes to be judged. Think of a recent time you were judged. How’d that make you feel. Not so great if I had to guess. We don’t want to feel judged nor do we want to inflict that feeling on others if we’ve judged them.
Here’s how to stop judging others.
(1) Put yourself in their shoes
Whatever you know about them, imagine yourself as them. What are their experiences? How do they see the world? How do they view themselves? What are they experiencing? This is designed to help you understand their frame of mind, worldview, and points of view. Understanding is an antidote to judging.
(2) Imagine what they overcame
Imagine the pain they went through. Knowing what you know about them in an attempt to understand them imagine the pain, struggle and hardship they went through. Doing this exercise will help you increase your empathy levels. Empathy is an antidote to judging.
(3) Be happy for them
Since you’re now coming from a place of understanding and empathy, you’re more able to be happy for them. Since you’re happy for them you’re no longer in the position to analyze ever detail of their life, dissect their decision making process, or express your opinions about their life choices. You are simply happy that they’re happy. And that’s a great feeling. Feeling happy for someone is an antidote to judging.
(4) Realize why you're judging
Why are you judging in the first place? Think about how judging a person makes you feel? What does it cause you to do? Ok for most people, judging someone usually stems from a place of jealousy. Judging someone is a way of comparing yourself to them. In the moment, it probably makes you feel good because you’re doing a downward social comparison where you feel like you’re better off than they are, but still a part of you is filled with a little bit of envy. If you disagree, then ask yourself then next time you’re compelled to judge someone or their life decisions why you are judging them. And be honest with yourself about the why. Knowing yourself and your own behaviors challenges you to reevaluate your need to judge others. And this is an antidote to judging.
So we talked about four ways to stop judging others. You’ll notice that by trying to understand someone, being more empathetic to others, trying to be happy for someone, and recognizing why you’re judging others in the first place will help you overcome the judginess. When we leave judgements out of our social interactions, we find that we have better relationships to others and to ourselves. Overall it’s a win-win for interpersonal relationships and intrapersonal relationships. The next time you’re tempted to judge someone, think again. Practice these strategies, make them your own, and add them to your communication toolkit so they become second nature.
Alright Explearners that’s it from me today. If you liked this video be sure to give it a big thumbs up. Can you think of any other ways to stop judging someone? Share that with the Explearning community in the comments down below. And if you want to help our channel continue to grow, share this lesson and our channel with anyone who wants to improve their communication skills and social skills. I’ll see you in the next one!
Happy Explearning :)