Today we’re discussing communication strategies to help you get someone to speak honestly and candidly with you.
These tips will work in a personal setting or a business setting. Let’s get into it:
Interrogate:
Ask the question that you hope will reveal something
Gap:
Follow up that question with silence. That silence will make them uncomfortable to the point where they’ll divulge something
Come in closer:
You can either lean in or take a step closer to the person you’re talking to.
Invade their personal space! In western culture, we’re generally most comfortable interacting at a arm’s length distance. So, by encroaching on someone’s personal space you are making them uncomfortable.
This discomfort will also cause them to divulge – get them to confess – spill the beans!
Cops use this as an interrogation tactic. You’ve probably seen this on television!
Triple nod:
So now that they’re confessing you want to encourage them to keep talking.
How do you do that?
Through a triple nod.
As I’ve said before, a triple nod is strategy we use in active listening and emphatic listening because the speaker will talk 3 to 4 times more than if you hadn’t done the triple nod.
What if none of this seems to be working?
If they’re not budging here are 2 strategies to use to get them to tell the truth:
Try non-chronological retelling
This is another cop trick which you’ve probably seen in cop shows when they’re ask someone to tell a story out of order.
Typically, we tell a story chronologically start to finish.
The good liars have that memorize; the better liars have the story memorized backwards.
But if you want to catch a liar, have them tell you the story completely out of order so that you’re asking questions about specific actions and what came before and after. For example, “what did you do after getting coffee at Starbucks?” or “what did you do before going to the movies with Jake?”
Say it’s not a big deal but…
If you’re going for a more laissez-faire approach then you can start with “it’d not a big deal but”….
For example, you say in a team meeting “it’s not a big deal but I really should know what happened to that report?” / “it’s not a huge deal but I need to know what happened to those orders we placed last week.”
Doing this will set the listener at ease knowing that there might not be significant repercussions, but you still want them to confess so that you can help them, get into problem solving mode, and resolve the issue.
Try out these strategies Explearners the next time you’re trying to get the truth out of someone. Add them to your communication toolkit so you’re ready to meet any communication challenge that comes your way.
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I’ll see you in the next lesson. 😊
Happy Explearning ⚡
About the Author and the Explearning Academy:
Mary Daphne is an expert in communication, executive interpersonal skills, and personal development. She is the founder of the Explearning Academy, a platform dedicated to helping individuals enhance their social fluency, boost their careers, and elevate their social game. Through immersive group coaching programs like the Executive Communication Lab and self-guided journeys, participants gain the social superpowers and career catapults they've been searching for. If you're ready to take your negotiation skills to the next level and connect with like-minded individuals, visit academy.explearning.co and explore the various plans available. Join the Explearning Academy community and unlock your full potential.
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